Svetlana Camelinskii was a new intern at a genetic engineering laboratory. Two weeks later her coworkers found Svetlana to somehow have been spliced with a llama. She didn't seem to notice so no one said anything. Work carried on as usual.
One day a lonely sailor decided to spank his seamonkey into what he thought was an empty seashell. To his surprise he ended up fathering a half-human half-hermit crab son whom he uncreatively named Herman. Knowing Herman would never be accepted amongst human society the two stayed at sea until the sailor's death. Herman was eventually captured by pirates and forced to join their crew. As pirates are wont to do, Herman lost a couple limbs. He was fitted with large blades and dubbed Hermit Stab by the pun loving captain.
While Gilbert Dancy was attempting to train a wild mustang in a tangerine orchard during a freak thunderstorm (just go with it), lightning struck. Gilbert awoke the next day a changed man. He now had the speed and strength of a tangerine with the vitamin C content of a full grown mustang. His superhero career did not last long.
It's a well known fact that chupacabras are scientific alien experiments that have been draining Latin American livestock of their blood since the mid-90s. Or they used to. After many years of protesting and finally correctly filling out the proper paperwork, the chupacabra has been upgraded. Presenting the chupacandelabra. Now with the ability to cook their food. And be fancy about it.